the Buffalo Diaries Sample (Chapter 2)
The Battle for the Light
There is a battle waging. I am on the field. At all times I must be prepared for the hit to come. I cannot let my consciousness falter, lest I create cracks in my energy that could allow the darkness some footing. My own demons hide out in the deepest recesses of my being waiting to strike, content to surface only for a moment to launch the strike then recede into the darkness that follows. If I am not totally aware, the insidious nature of these entities will creep up on me and before I know it… I am falling into the darkness.
The soul work I have been doing is releasing negative patterns that I had come to accept as my reality. I know different now and do my very best to see these patterns and their triggers. As I have come to understand my Authentic Nature, I realize that my core energy is that of Light and Love. Anything not of that frequency is not me… period.
I have been more and more connected to myself and the experience is amazing. I have seen miracles and felt the wings of angels. I have travelled great distances and connected with others from afar without ever leaving my living room. My meditations have brought the stillness to pierce the veil and see into the worlds that surround us. I have come to find out that these worlds are freely accessible to my energy bodies. Even though I didn’t always know it, parts of my being were journeying far and wide, having experiences I was not aware of that have had impacts on my mind, body and spirit.
I have seen the dark energies all around. They are heavy in frequency and drain my vitality. They can and do often attach to my energy fields and start the process of downward pull. If I can catch it before they drain my energy to far, I am able to push them off, much like I would blow a fly from my arm. These same frequencies lurk in my being as well and can be triggered when exposed to resonant energy. This is a double whammy, as I am being hit from inside and out at the same time. At times like this I must always remember that I am not connecting to my Authentic Self. In essence, once this hit takes hold I am acting out a program or script and the thoughts coming rapid fire, accusatory and blameful are not from my higher self.
I do my best during situations like this. Recently, I recognized the now unfamiliar negative internal dialogue and started to talk back. I know that is not me thinking those thoughts, where are they coming from? I asked over and over. They subsided for a while, replaced with a general irritability that I hadn’t felt in quite a while. I knew this was not my true self and continued with my day, releasing the irritability along the way. Later in the day, I got an answer to the question… the source of the negative internal dialogue showed his face. The thought stream got polluted real quick and down I was going.
Breath work is the best medicine. I went into my breath, started to focus my attention solely on my breathing. This has so many benefits for my health, but now it was serving a different purpose. By invoking my breath and infusing it with Love, kindness and total personal responsibility I begin to raise my light frequency and energy. I am infusing my body with prana, life force, chi… and with that intention I increase my power and connection to Source. This is what I needed to quell this demon. His incessant chatter, driving me into seclusion taking refuge in a bath where the Epsom Salts gently coax negative energy from my body. Continued breath and trying not to connect to any of the thoughts, I was most certainly avoiding agreeing with them or joining in… but it is difficult when they are coming rapid stream, staccato, frenetic. Out of every thousand I slipped once or twice… and some slips were not even on a conscious level. So down I spiraled. I knew not to speak, or prepare food for my loved ones so I hunkered down with good intentions to a graphic design project. By staying focused on the light, staying present to the moment and relaxing, I began to feel better. My guts never fully recovered, but I went to bed feeling fairly bright.
When I woke the next morning, I felt like I had been hit by a truck… Or doing battle all night. It was a rough night, energetically speaking. I still get hit at night, dark seeds planted during the day find bountiful soil to take root while I sleep. Groundhog day… It finally took a team effort, but we got through. Soul retrieval and deep breath work and I was able to pop that entity out of my energy beings and regain my light.
I am still learning. It is an adventure where new mysteries await around every corner. Life has taken on a new quality as I stay connected to my authentic energies for longer periods of time. But they are battles hard won and the war is not over yet. There is always something to learn, to let go of, more of the ego to release, personal demons along with ample dark energy free-flowing all around. I remain diligent in my practice, ever mindful of those tell-tale signs. Those nagging thoughts that come, self-doubt, fear, anger… I know that those are the seeds of malcontent, the non-reality of a dark source, not my present state. So I remain vigilant and mindful, staying as present as possible, awake and aware I face this moment with Love and I will prevail.
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